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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-26 18:57:11 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/ayatollah-claims-victory-after-destroying-14-bunker-buster-bombs-with-their-nuclear-facilities

https://babylonbee.com/news/ayatollah-claims-victory-after-destroying-14-bunker-buster-bombs-with-their-nuclear-facilities

BABYLONBEE.COM

Ayatollah Proudly Announces Iran Has Destroyed 14 Bunker Buster Bombs With Its Nuclear Facilities
TEHRAN — Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared a resounding victory over the United States and Israel after Iran destroyed 14 American bunker buster bombs with its nuclear facilities.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-24 20:44:34 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/peace-in-middle-east-lasts-record-27-minutes

https://babylonbee.com/news/peace-in-middle-east-lasts-record-27-minutes

BABYLONBEE.COM

Peace In Middle East Lasts Record 27 Minutes
MIDDLE EAST — The region rejoiced and the world marvelled as peace broke out in the Middle East and lasted a record 27 minutes.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-22 13:28:36 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/to-calm-everyone-down-here-is-a-picture-of-a-bagel-you-cannot-possibly-argue-about

https://babylonbee.com/news/to-calm-everyone-down-here-is-a-picture-of-a-bagel-you-cannot-possibly-argue-about

BABYLONBEE.COM

To Calm Everyone Down, Here Is A Picture Of A Bagel You Cannot Possibly Argue About
We at the Babylon Bee have seen the rage and consternation caused by some of our jokes this week. In order to help everyone take a deep breath and relax, we are simply posting this picture of a bagel that no one could possibly argue about.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-21 14:04:27 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/iran-clarifies-its-new-jew-smasher-3000-missile-is-meant-only-for-peace

https://babylonbee.com/news/iran-clarifies-its-new-jew-smasher-3000-missile-is-meant-only-for-peace

BABYLONBEE.COM

Iran Clarifies Its New 'Jew Smasher 3000' Missile Is Meant Only For Peace
TEHRAN — The Islamic Republic of Iran addressed concerns over the recent acquisition of a brand new ballistic missile called the "Jew Smasher 3000" with a spokesman for the regime insisting that the missile is intended to be used for only peaceful purposes.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-17 13:01:48 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/10-new-amendments-the-constitution-desperately-needs

https://babylonbee.com/news/10-new-amendments-the-constitution-desperately-needs

BABYLONBEE.COM

10 New Amendments The Constitution Desperately Needs
Any founding document written in the 1700s could use a little updating, no? Yes, there may have been amendments over the years, but not nearly as many as the country needs.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-15 12:50:06 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/dad-physically-unable-to-drive-by-cows-without-saying-hey-kids-look---cows

https://babylonbee.com/news/dad-physically-unable-to-drive-by-cows-without-saying-hey-kids-look---cows

BABYLONBEE.COM

Dad Physically Unable To Drive By Cows Without Saying 'Hey, Kids, Look — Cows'
BOULDER, CO — Sources closest to 40-year-old Jay Brennan reported that the local dad was physically unable to drive by cows without saying, "Hey, kids, look — cows."

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Duffner

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2025-06-10 22:18:19 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/mexican-rioter-adds-lime-wedge-to-molotov-cocktail

https://babylonbee.com/news/mexican-rioter-adds-lime-wedge-to-molotov-cocktail

BABYLONBEE.COM

Mexican Rioter Adds Lime Wedge To Molotov Cocktail
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mass protests over the federal government's crackdown on illegal immigration received a touch of Latino flavor over the weekend, as one Mexican rioter added a lime wedge to his Molotov cocktail.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-09 13:04:56 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-really-regretting-his-new-trump-musk-back-tattoo

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-really-regretting-his-new-trump-musk-back-tattoo

BABYLONBEE.COM

Man Really Regretting His New Trump-Musk Back Tattoo
ORLANDO, FL — Sources close to one local man said that the lifelong Republican was "really regretting" the Trump-Musk back tattoo he got in January.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-08 13:42:47 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/9-surefire-ways-to-bring-trump-and-elon-back-together

https://babylonbee.com/news/9-surefire-ways-to-bring-trump-and-elon-back-together

BABYLONBEE.COM

9 Surefire Ways To Bring Trump And Elon Back Together
The world watched in horror yesterday as the friendship between President Donald Trump and Elon Musk was torn asunder, but it doesn't have to be this way. There is still hope that the two titans can make amends.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-06-05 14:27:50 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-warn-deporting-illegal-terrorist-family-could-be-slippery-slope-to-deporting-other-illegal-terrorist-families

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-warn-deporting-illegal-terrorist-family-could-be-slippery-slope-to-deporting-other-illegal-terrorist-families

BABYLONBEE.COM

Democrats Warn Deporting Illegal Terrorist Family Could Be Slippery Slope To Deporting Other Illegal Terrorist Families
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of a growing outcry over Trump's immigration policy, Democrats warned that deporting an illegal terrorist family could be a slippery slope to deporting other illegal terrorist families.

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alexanderrogge shared a link
2025-06-04 00:08:47 -

Babylon Bee - Republicans Unveil New Plan To Fix National Debt Sometime After The Return Of Christ:

https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-unveil-new-plan-for-federal-debt-wait-for-the-second-coming-and-the-world-to-be-ended-in-fire

#BigBeautifulBill #ProfligateSpending #StopTheSpending #FederalBudget #NationalDebt #DebtCrisis #Debt #Inflation #EndTheFed #EndOfTime #BabylonBee #Finance #Humor

Babylon Bee - Republicans Unveil New Plan To Fix National Debt Sometime After The Return Of Christ: https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-unveil-new-plan-for-federal-debt-wait-for-the-second-coming-and-the-world-to-be-ended-in-fire #BigBeautifulBill #ProfligateSpending #StopTheSpending #FederalBudget #NationalDebt #DebtCrisis #Debt #Inflation #EndTheFed #EndOfTime #BabylonBee #Finance #Humor

BABYLONBEE.COM

Republicans Unveil New Plan To Fix National Debt Sometime After The Return Of Christ
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republican lawmakers unveiled a bold new plan for the federal budget: to forgo paying down the national debt in favor of waiting for the second coming of Christ and the world to be ended in fire.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-31 13:31:30 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-aides-shocked-to-find-bidens-autopen-still-signing-bills-in-storage-closet

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-aides-shocked-to-find-bidens-autopen-still-signing-bills-in-storage-closet

BABYLONBEE.COM

Trump Aides Shocked To Find Biden's Autopen Still Signing Bills In Storage Closet
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Aides in the White House were shocked this week to find former President Joe Biden's autopen still signing bills in a storage closet.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-30 18:26:02 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-asks-judge-if-theres-anything-the-president-is-actually-allowed-to-do

https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-asks-judge-if-theres-anything-the-president-is-actually-allowed-to-do

BABYLONBEE.COM

White House Asks Judge If There's Anything The President Is Actually Allowed To Do
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to clear up lingering confusion over the role of the nation's chief executive and avoid ongoing injunctions to block executive actions, the White House asked a federal judge if there's anything the president is actually allowed to do.

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RazingCane added a photo
2025-05-27 02:56:59 -

https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1927092465141514342

https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1927092465141514342

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-24 13:27:08 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-demands-to-see-bruce-springsteens-birth-certificate-to-prove-he-was-born-in-the-usa

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-demands-to-see-bruce-springsteens-birth-certificate-to-prove-he-was-born-in-the-usa

BABYLONBEE.COM

Trump Demands To See Bruce Springsteen's Birth Certificate To Prove He Was Born In The U.S.A.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to see Bruce Springsteen's birth certificate to prove he was born in the U.S.A.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-23 19:27:58 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/mormon-fakes-own-death-so-everyone-will-make-funeral-potatoes

https://babylonbee.com/news/mormon-fakes-own-death-so-everyone-will-make-funeral-potatoes

BABYLONBEE.COM

Mormon Fakes Own Death So Everyone Will Make Funeral Potatoes
PROVO, UT — A local member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Brigham Smith, reportedly faked his own death in hopes of getting someone to bring him a pan of delicious Mormon Funeral Potatoes.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-23 01:21:50 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-family-worried-they-may-be-running-out-of-time-to-exploit-joe

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-family-worried-they-may-be-running-out-of-time-to-exploit-joe

BABYLONBEE.COM

Biden Family Worried They May Be Running Out Of Time To Exploit Joe
GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden's stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-22 02:58:31 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/karine-jean-pierre-insists-joe-biden-is-cancer-free

https://babylonbee.com/news/karine-jean-pierre-insists-joe-biden-is-cancer-free

BABYLONBEE.COM

Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the shocking announcement that he was suffering from stage 4 prostate cancer, former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that Joe Biden was 100% cancer-free.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-21 12:50:24 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicago-mayor-insists-he-has-never-discriminated-against-white-boy-honky-crackers

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicago-mayor-insists-he-has-never-discriminated-against-white-boy-honky-crackers

BABYLONBEE.COM

Chicago Mayor Insists He Has Never Discriminated Against White-Boy Honky Crackers
CHICAGO, IL — Following a deluge of allegations of racist hiring practices to fill city official jobs, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson issued a statement insisting that he had never once discriminated against white-boy honky crackers.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-20 13:36:48 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/family-shopping-for-a-new-church-after-finding-out-their-current-church-has-sinners-in-it

https://babylonbee.com/news/family-shopping-for-a-new-church-after-finding-out-their-current-church-has-sinners-in-it

BABYLONBEE.COM

Family Shopping For A New Church After Finding Out Their Current Church Has Sinners In It
SAN FERNANDO, CA — The Gomez family is back on the market for a new church after learning their home church was full of sinners.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-19 22:28:15 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/a-day-that-will-live-in-infamy-donald-trump-declares-war-on-mexico-after-attack-on-brooklyn-bridge

https://babylonbee.com/news/a-day-that-will-live-in-infamy-donald-trump-declares-war-on-mexico-after-attack-on-brooklyn-bridge

BABYLONBEE.COM

Donald Trump Declares War On Mexico After Attack On Brooklyn Bridge
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days after a catastrophic incident involving a sailing vessel belonging to the Mexican navy, President Donald Trump held a press conference to declare war on Mexico for its flagrant attack on the Brooklyn Bridge.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-17 22:21:00 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/home-depot-adds-self-deportation-kiosks

https://babylonbee.com/news/home-depot-adds-self-deportation-kiosks

BABYLONBEE.COM

Home Depot Adds Self-Deportation Kiosks
U.S. — Home Depot has begun rolling out self-deportation kiosks so local day laborers hanging around outside their stores can conveniently deport themselves for a nominal fee.

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KurtSchank shared a link
2025-05-15 12:46:35 -

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-demand-to-know-who-was-responsible-for-covering-up-bidens-decline

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-demand-to-know-who-was-responsible-for-covering-up-bidens-decline

BABYLONBEE.COM

Furious Democrats Demand To Know Who Was Responsible For Covering Up Biden's Decline
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats in Congress have angrily demanded answers as to who repeatedly lied to the American people in order to cover up former President Biden's cognitive decline.

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CP1

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2025-05-07 18:09:24 -

http://babylonbee.com/news/trump-to-negotiate-peace-in-india-as-soon-as-they-take-him-off-hold

http://babylonbee.com/news/trump-to-negotiate-peace-in-india-as-soon-as-they-take-him-off-hold

BABYLONBEE.COM

Trump Promises To Negotiate Peace In India As Soon As They Take Him Off Hold
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has vowed to negotiate a quick end to the violence between India and Pakistan, just as soon as he taken off the "brief hold" he was placed on.

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