WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of a growing outcry over Trump's immigration policy, Democrats warned that deporting an illegal terrorist family could be a slippery slope to deporting other illegal terrorist families.
Babylon Bee - Republicans Unveil New Plan To Fix National Debt Sometime After The Return Of Christ:
https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-unveil-new-plan-for-federal-debt-wait-for-the-second-coming-and-the-world-to-be-ended-in-fire
#BigBeautifulBill #ProfligateSpending #StopTheSpending #FederalBudget #NationalDebt #DebtCrisis #Debt #Inflation #EndTheFed #EndOfTime #BabylonBee #Finance #Humor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republican lawmakers unveiled a bold new plan for the federal budget: to forgo paying down the national debt in favor of waiting for the second coming of Christ and the world to be ended in fire.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Aides in the White House were shocked this week to find former President Joe Biden's autopen still signing bills in a storage closet.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to clear up lingering confusion over the role of the nation's chief executive and avoid ongoing injunctions to block executive actions, the White House asked a federal judge if there's anything the president is actually allowed to do.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to see Bruce Springsteen's birth certificate to prove he was born in the U.S.A.
PROVO, UT — A local member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Brigham Smith, reportedly faked his own death in hopes of getting someone to bring him a pan of delicious Mormon Funeral Potatoes.
GREENVILLE, DE — Following the recent announcement of Joe Biden's stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, sources reported that Biden family members had grown increasingly worried that they were running out of time to exploit the former president.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the shocking announcement that he was suffering from stage 4 prostate cancer, former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that Joe Biden was 100% cancer-free.
CHICAGO, IL — Following a deluge of allegations of racist hiring practices to fill city official jobs, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson issued a statement insisting that he had never once discriminated against white-boy honky crackers.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days after a catastrophic incident involving a sailing vessel belonging to the Mexican navy, President Donald Trump held a press conference to declare war on Mexico for its flagrant attack on the Brooklyn Bridge.
U.S. — Home Depot has begun rolling out self-deportation kiosks so local day laborers hanging around outside their stores can conveniently deport themselves for a nominal fee.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats in Congress have angrily demanded answers as to who repeatedly lied to the American people in order to cover up former President Biden's cognitive decline.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has vowed to negotiate a quick end to the violence between India and Pakistan, just as soon as he taken off the "brief hold" he was placed on.
U.S. — A new era of dealing with depraved lawbreakers dawned today, as President Donald Trump vowed to reopen and expand Alcatraz by putting up a fence around the entire city of San Francisco.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Democrats sounded an alarm Friday, warning that cutting funding for state-sponsored propaganda programs would lead to fascism.
STOCKTON, CA — According to sources, local wife Sue Page is beginning to suspect that her husband's thoughtful and relevant responses to her texts might be A.I. generated.
MILWAUKEE, WI — While being questioned by authorities following her arrest, FBI agents discovered 17 more illegal aliens hiding in the back of County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan's robes.
HUNDRED ACRE WOOD — Local bear Winnie the Pooh has reportedly been left completely destitute after Trump enacted 150% tariffs on the Hundred Acre Wood earlier this week.
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a landmark initiative praised by advocates as a sign of tremendous progress for the handicapped community, the state of California mandated that homeowners install wheelchair ramps on all porches for disabled burglars.
NUUK — Vice President JD Vance was met with a cold reception early Friday when he arrived in Greenland to find a grand army furiously making snowballs to defend against an invasion from the United States.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced this week that he was leaving office in order to take an even more powerful position as a U.S. District Court judge.