A historic Supreme Court ruling is not stopping Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) from trying to imprison President Trump.

Actor and film director Mel Gibson sent a letter of encouragement to Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò after Red Pope Francis excommunicated him last week.

U.S. — After a noticeably carrot-hued President Joe Biden gave a live address to the nation last night, top Democrat marketing strategists scrambled to suddenly change their official slogan to "Orange Man Good."

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an ingenious political stratagem, Democrat higher-ups recently maneuvered Biden into resigning from the presidency by displaying "I hereby resign from the presidency, no takebacks" on his teleprompter.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Official White House sources confirmed Monday that President Biden's State Department had contacted several enemy nations to politely ask that they would only consider attacking the United States between Biden's waking hours of 10:00 am to 4:00 pm EST.

PORTLAND, OR — Sources close to Carole Chevonne, an Oregon native, said that the "Free Gaza" activist and part-time barista is unsure which gender this weird new red, white, and blue Pride flag represents.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to let President Biden feel like he is still working, the White House has installed a "Touch-And-Learn" activity desk for Biden to play at while First Lady Jill Biden runs the country.