Are the L.A. wildfires — which have razed more than 38,000 acres (57 sq. miles), the equivalent of a midsize city like Minneapolis — a chance outbreak? Or is there a design behind this Firepocalypse? More specifically, is it p...

SACRAMENTO, CA — In a statement intended to assuage the fears of Democratic voters throughout the state, Governor Gavin Newsom assured Californians that they would be kept safe from all of the Trump administration's prosperity, safety, and lower prices.

SAN CARLOS, CA — Tesla has just released a long-awaited addition to its lineup of self-driving cars. According to several sources, the brand-new Tesla Model W is a self-crashing car designed especially for women.

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.

U.S. — Just days after news leaked that President Joe Biden was quietly selling unused border wall construction materials via online auction, presumably as a gesture of defiance against incoming President Donald Trump, a mysterious user named "OrangeMan47" swooped in to purchase every listing.

SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom has adopted a plan set forth by the California Air Resources Board to phase out all gas-powered and EV automobiles and replace them with Little Tikes Cozy Coupes no later than 2035.

PALO ALTO, CA — Social media users rejoiced today as in an initiative to fight back against censorship, the guy who said Facebook was not suppressing free speech announced that Facebook would stop suppressing free speech.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare televised address from the Oval Office, President Biden warned the American public of an imminent terrorist threat as a result of his releasing eleven terrorists from prison.

LOS ANGELES, CA — As the world looked on in shock while multiple wildfires ravaged areas outside of Los Angeles, California Governor Gavin Newsom held a press conference to assure victims that he was diverting millions of dollars toward the state's emergency DEI initiatives.

MANHATTAN, NY — Sunny Hostin declared today that she had experienced "the Holocaust times ten" after a barista forgot to add cream to her morning coffee.