U.S. — As campaign season prepares to kick into high gear, Democrat governors in states across the country are promising the American people they will do everything in their power to make elections in their states appear legitimate.

BERKELEY, CA — Speaking from the heart of higher learning at UC Berkeley, sociology experts have issued formal guidelines that Hispanic individuals should always be called the gender-neutral term "latine" if you want to get punched right in the face.

WASHINGTON, DC — In an effort to educate President Biden on the details of the latest global conflict, Whitehouse staff called in beloved muppet and vaccine advocate Elmo to help break things down and explain things in terms the President would understand.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a swift and decisive response to the drone and missile attack on Israeli targets over the weekend, President Joe Biden retaliated against Iran by attaching a note to the next pallet of cash that reads "PLEASE DO NOT USE FOR TERRORISM."

DEARBORN, MI — Rashida Tlaib released a statement condemning Israel's cruel, brazen violence against over 300 Iranian missiles that were fired toward civilian areas over the weekend.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A journalist and senior editor at National Public Radio has been suspended, leading to the astounding revelation that there was a journalist working at NPR.