COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY — History has again repeated itself as communism once again devolved into mass starvation. The commies at Columbia University lasted less than twelve hours before running out of food and pleading for humanitarian aid, setting a new record for the collapse of communist food supply.

U.S. — Advancements in ways to counter anxiety about the state of the country had experts encouraged, as a new study found the most effective treatment for depression to be watching scrawny libs getting absolutely manhandled by police.

NEW YORK — Congressional Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was tragically killed Tuesday night during a police raid at Columbia University in which hundreds of pro-Palestinian protesters were arrested.

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) has fired back after Democrats moved in to protect House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) from being ousted from his role.