NEW YORK, NY — With his case against Trump beginning to crumble, DA Alvin Bragg has announced several dozen new cases against the former President, and a brand-new courthouse completely dedicated to prosecuting Trump.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to film a fourteen second video challenging former President Trump to a debate, President Biden tragically passed away thirteen times.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Bay Area residents were doing double-takes today, as Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi began dressing as a hobo after learning San Francisco was giving free vodka shots to the homeless.

SENOIA, GA — Officials are reporting significantly reduced traffic volumes in the areas around Senoia today. A town spokesperson said this is due to a Biden rally happening downtown later this afternoon.